Embers
by Vivi-ntvg
Summary: Newly orphaned Astrid Hofferson decided to go to Berk. She hoped to find her friend Birger there, the only person she had left. She ended up finding a lot more than that. Burning AU. One-shot.


**A/N: Hello everyone! Here's that oneshot I promised at the end of Soaring. It's much longer than I expected it to be, but I didn't want to split it, so... you get 13k words! Good for you!**

 **To anyone who hasn't read Burning or its sequels, you'll be very confused if you read this. You can understand it eventually, I think, but it would be difficult.**

 **And to those who have, there's a major change here apart from the obvious, and that is that the scene with Hiccup and Astrid when they're small (the one in italics at the beginning of Burning, that Hiccup is made to forget) didn't happen. I wanted them to have a first meeting here, and leaving that scene in meant that Astrid would have to reveal it to Hiccup at some point, with the corresponding angst. I wanted to focus on Astrid, so I cut it out.**

 **With all that being said, enjoy!**

* * *

"Well, well, well. What do we have here?"

The man's voice woke Astrid up from her uneasy slumber. She cursed herself for having fallen asleep despite her repeated attempts not to. She didn't want to be found, and on such a small ship as this, that meant staying awake so she could sneak around if she heard the owner come nearby.

With all the thoughts running through her head, she'd believed that it would be impossible to find any rest, and so she let her guard down. Unfortunately, that had led to her current predicament.

She tried to organise her thoughts. She didn't know a lot about this merchant, only that his name was Johann and he was travelling to Berk. That was all she'd heard. It was all she'd needed to know. She had to get to Birger, and he was in Berk. The logical thing had been to stow away on his ship and hope he didn't find her.

So much for that.

Not knowing who this man was meant she didn't know what he'd do to her. Would he toss her overboard? He certainly didn't seem very happy with his discovery.

She was silent for so long that he spoke again. "Who are you, child?"

She took a deep breath. She'd been in plenty of hostile situations before, alone. She could handle this.

A small voice in the back of her head reminded her that she could no longer count on her dad to get her out if things got nasty. She tried to ignore the painful thought.

"My name is Astrid", she said, carefully avoiding her last name.

"And what are you doing here? Where are your parents?"

The question brought the recent events to the forefront of her mind, and the terrible knowledge that she was alone hit her again. She did her best to control herself, but she could feel the tears welling up, threatening to spill. The man's eyes widened when he saw this, and his expression immediately became concerned.

"Little one? Astrid? What happened?"

She sniffled. _Get a grip, Astrid. You don't know what his intentions are._ "I'm... I wanted to visit my family in Berk." She decided not to mention her father's death, for now. Best not to let the man know that she didn't have anyone to protect her, in case he decided to take advantage of that. Of her.

The man, Johann, didn't look convinced. "I know every family in Berk", he said. "Who are you visiting?"

She thought quickly, and decided the truth was simpler than a lie, at least for now. "The Anssons."

Johann's face cleared. "Oh. They haven't been on Berk for long. It explains why I didn't know you..." He eyed her critically. "So why did you sneak onto my ship instead of, you know, asking me? And why are you crying?"

"I... didn't know if you'd let me on", she admitted. "I don't have coins, or anything I can trade for a trip." She didn't even have a knife or any small weapon. Her father had let her start training with daggers, but hadn't allowed her to keep one for herself. In fact, the only thing she had to defend herself with was the little piece of metal she'd grabbed from Birger's father's forge, once. It might help a bit in a tight spot, but it was definitely not worth anything to a trader.

"Oh, that's no problem", he said dismissively. "I'm not heartless. I wouldn't leave a little girl to fend for herself in a time of need. I'll take you to Berk safely."

She eyed him suspiciously. "In exchange for what?" One of the things she'd learned in her life so far was that nothing was free. Anyone who helped you would want payback, sometime. She didn't like owing anybody anything.

But it looked like she didn't have a choice. Not if she wanted to get to Berk.

Johann seemed offended. She didn't really buy it. "I wouldn't dream of charging a youngling like you anything", he said. "If you really want, once you get to your family, and you have something to your name, then you can repay me. But until then, do not burden yourself. Just relax. We should reach Berk in a day, if the weather continues like this."

That perked her up. Even though pain still gripped her heart, the idea of seeing Birger again was a small silver lining.

Johann turned around. "In the meantime", he said, "help yourself to something. Have you even eaten anything since we parted?"

She _had_ taken a few apples from his cargo, admittedly. But she was thirsty. She reluctantly mentioned so, and the man promptly brought her a waterskin, which she downed in record time. Afterwards, she just sat back and stayed out of his way.

He may be helping her, but she didn't trust him. There weren't many people she trusted, and she wasn't risking anything until she got to them.

* * *

Like Johann promised, a day later they were on Berk. He meant for her to go with him, introduce her to the chief of the tribe and everything. But Astrid refused. She didn't know if he would accept her presence, no matter how much Johann reassured her he would sympathise with her plight. In the end, he agreed to let her get out of the ship, hidden, while he docked it.

As soon as she was on land, she breathed in relief and dashed off. The whole time, she'd been on edge, afraid that it was all a ruse and the trader wasn't going to let her go. Still, she didn't really know if she was on Berk. For all she knew, he could've landed her in a pirate island. So as soon as she found the forest, she went in, in case she needed to throw off potential pursuers.

She hadn't always been this paranoid. Probably two days ago, this would've gone differently.

But nothing was the same now, was it?

With the way she'd been raised, she knew the world was dangerous. Her dad had taught her that much. However, only now did she see just _how_ dangerous. She'd always seen how her dad was smart enough to avoid most dangers, and convinced herself that was the way it worked: if you were careful, you couldn't be harmed.

And she'd been proved wrong.

As it had happened every moment since her father's death, agony filled her when she thought of him. She tried to stop herself. She'd cried over him enough already, and if she wanted to survive, she had to get a move on.

For that, she had to figure out where Birger's house was, something that she couldn't do from this forest. Although... the trees were pretty tall. If she climbed one, she might be able to see the village.

With that in mind, she began trotting, observing the trunks to find one that was both tall and had enough branches for her to climb.

She was so engrossed in her search, that she didn't notice the boy running in her direction until it was too late and he crashed into her, sending them both tumbling onto the ground.

"Hey!" She jumped up immediately, ready to defend herself, and glared at the boy who hadn't got up yet. "Watch it!"

He was just a kid, like her, with auburn hair and bright green eyes. He was so skinny, she didn't doubt she could take him on if need be. However, he didn't look like he was about to attack her. He was staring at her with a mixture of confusion and fear. Good.

"You weren't looking either", he pointed out. "What are you even doing out here?"

"I could ask you the same", she countered.

"I was looking for trolls! There's no other place to find them."

She stared for a moment, trying not to snort. "Trolls aren't real."

"Yes, they are. And I'll prove it."

"Sure, sure."

"You still haven't answered my question. What are _you_ doing here?" He scrutinised her face. "And who are you?"

Of course. He must live in the village, and didn't recognise her. She wondered if she should lie, but then decided that she could probably scare him into keeping her presence a secret if she had to.

If he believed in trolls, he couldn't be much of a threat.

"I'm a friend of Birger's. Do you know him?"

The boy's eyes widened. "Yes. He's my... my best friend, actually."

That piqued her interest. He sounded sincere. "Really?"

"Yeah!" he grinned.

She couldn't believe her luck. "Can you take me to him?"

His grin faltered. "Uhh..."

"What? I promise you that he knows me. He won't be mad."

"It's not him I'm worried about", the boy explained. "It's my dad. He will be mad if I just let you into the village."

"Well, it's none of his business, is it?" she smiled, trying to be persuasive, and ignoring the dull ache that the words 'my dad' brought.

"Uh, actually, it is. He's the chief. He has to know who comes and goes into the island."

She hid a wince at the words. Great. Of course it wasn't going to be that easy.

She didn't want to face the chief yet. Whoever he was, she didn't doubt that he wouldn't be happy somebody had just sneaked into his town.

"Can't you take me to Birger first? I will remain hidden. I will speak to your dad, eventually. Just... not right now."

The boy had got up and was watching her, obviously trying to make a decision.

"Please." She hated to beg, hated the desperation in her voice, but it was her last resort. She could tell he was the kind of guy who'd be moved by it.

At last, he sighed. "Fine", he said. "But don't let anyone see you. And when you're ready, send Birger to get me, so I can talk to my Dad."

"Of course", she smiled. "I'm not trying to get you in trouble."

"Thanks", he replied as he started walking somewhere. She followed, and thought she heard him mumble something like "I've got enough of that already."

As they walked, she thought of something. "Hey, what's your name, by the way?" If Birger was his best friend, like he claimed, then she guessed she'd be seeing him around a lot.

"I'm Hiccup", he introduced himself. "And you?"

"Astrid."

"Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. Though you did run into me."

"So did you!" he huffed indignantly, and she laughed. He was so easy to tease.

"Relax. I won't hold it against you."

"Yeah, yeah", he muttered.

After a few minutes, they reached the village, and more specifically the back of a hut.

"This is Birger's home", Hiccup said. "Wait here, I'll go get him."

Soon enough, he was back, and with him came a face that she hadn't seen in a couple of years. He hadn't changed much, apart from being taller. His expression was both confused and delighted.

Seeing someone so close to her, after everything that had happened, seemed to relieve some tension off her shoulders. She ran to him, wrapping him in a bear hug, which he quickly returned. The warm contact reminded her so much of her father, of what she'd lost, that she couldn't help it.

She started sobbing right then and there, into his shoulder, in front of a very confused Hiccup.

* * *

"Oh, Birg, what was it? Hold on... is that _Astrid_?"

Despite the circumstances, despite the fact she was crying so hard she could barely pay attention to what was around her, she could still recognise Ingrid Ansson's voice. For a moment, she was comforted... until she realised that it was a voice she associated with her childhood.

Just like her father's.

The thought made her tears fall even faster. She'd tried (and failed) to control herself when Hiccup was there, since he didn't know her and she didn't want him thinking she was weak. Once Birger took her away from him, though, there was no need to pretend. Birg himself hadn't said anything, simply letting her hold on to him.

It was a long while before she was able to calm herself. Neither her friend nor his mother asked questions until then, just sat her down on a chair and comforted her with their presence.

When her sobs had stopped, Birger spoke. "What happened? Why are you here?"

"And where's your father?" Ingrid piped up.

At that, a few more tears fell, but she didn't have the energy to sob anymore. "He's... he's..."

Although she couldn't form the words, they understood. Birg immediately stepped forward to hug her. "Oh, Astrid..."

She told them what had happened in as few words as possible, and skipping over what that man had almost done to her. She didn't feel ready to share that part yet.

Maybe she never would be.

When she was finished, Birger sat by her, holding her hand and squeezing gently every now and then, while Ingrid looked at her compassionately.

"Oh, you poor girl..." she said.

"Look", Astrid began. "I know that it's been hard since... your husband died." Birger had told her so in his letters. "I know that taking care of a single child is expensive, never mind two. I don't want to be a burden." She took a deep breath. "I'll work. I'll tend to crops, or look after livestock, or sew. I'll do whatever is necessary to sustain myself. But please-"

"Astrid", Ingrid cut her off.

She promptly shut up. Her sadness had temporarily taken a backseat to fear. Would the woman kick her out? Sure, she was friends with her son, but that didn't mean she was obligated to care for her. Astrid was well aware of that.

So she waited with baited breath. Trying not to think of what might happen if Ingrid said no. Should she stay on Berk anyway? From what she'd gathered, it was a more decent place than the islands she'd been on. Maybe the chief would be kind enough to help her out...

If only she hadn't snuck on here. She was starting to regret it.

"Astrid", Ingrid said again. "You're right, it _will_ be hard to feed two children."

Astrid deflated... until Ingrid smiled. "But I would never forgive myself if I abandoned my son's best friend to her fortune."

She had no more tears left, so she resorted to running up to the woman and hugging her. Ingrid patted her head.

"You'll be safe, Astrid."

* * *

The sun was setting in the sky. Hiccup was sharpening a sword when Birger, obviously having finished his chores, dropped by the smithy.

"Hey, Hiccup. Busy day?" he smiled as he plopped down in a stool.

"You have no idea", he answered. "It's like everyone agreed to break their weapons today."

"Yeah, I know what you mean", Birger sighed. "Mum's been working us to the ground, since we need all the crops we can get before winter sets in."

"Oh." In as casual a tone as he could manage, he asked, "So Astrid's still at it?"

Of course, Birger wasn't fooled at all. He smirked, and Hiccup felt his cheeks warming.

"Yeah. She might come say hi when she's done. Although, if you finish before she does... well, you know where we live. You could always visit us, if you want to see her."

"Why... why would I want to? I mean, we're friends, obviously. But, you know, I can probably see her tomorrow." Hiccup was very glad to not be facing his friend right now. He was sure his face was the colour of the glowing coals.

"Hiccup." Birger's tone was suddenly so serious that he turned around to look at him. "You have to do something."

"About what?" He didn't even know why he was playing dumb anymore. Birger knew, even if he'd never admitted it.

"You know what. She's already getting attention from Snotlout."

"Which she rejects. Promptly. And violently." On a day-to-day basis.

"So, what? Are you afraid she'll do the same to you?"

"Maybe." Astrid was a force to be reckoned with. He'd seen that many times.

"Oh, come on. She wouldn't. You'd take the hint the first time."

"So you're saying she'd turn me down", he said dryly.

"No. I'm saying you need to try, regardless of the consequences."

"That's the problem." He'd thought about it long and hard. "I only have two friends right now. I don't want to lose one of them."

Birger sighed. "All right. But don't say I didn't warn you." He got up. "Well, I'm leaving. I'm starving. Catch up with you later."

"See you."

After his friend was gone, Hiccup finished his chore, thinking about the conversation they'd just had. Thinking about Astrid.

He still remembered the first time he saw her, or rather, collided with her in the forest. She'd been on the defensive immediately, and he'd been rather confused as to who she was and what she was doing there. It wasn't until much later that he realised that she could have meant him harm, and he hadn't even tried to defend himself, just talked to her normally. Once he said he knew Birger, her attitude had immediately changed. She'd pleaded with him, and he'd given in to her pitiful expression.

And then, when she saw his (well, and _her_ ) friend, she'd broken down into tears right there. He didn't understand a thing, but Birger just shook his head at him, mouthed 'later' and then led the girl into his home.

At the time, he'd just been extremely confused by the whole thing. Later, when Birger's mum came to speak with his father, he'd overheard their conversation. About how Astrid's father had been friends with them, and by extension, Astrid had grown close to Birger. And now her father was dead, and she had no more family. Stoick had expressed his concern over her being able to care for two children, but she'd reassured him, and he'd given in.

And so, Astrid came into his life.

Well, more accurately, she came back into Birger's life. But since the other boy spent a lot of time with him, that meant _she_ did, too.

Despite their strange first encounter, they got on pretty well. Astrid had been amused by his sharp wit, sassing him right back, and he'd been delighted to discover that, underneath her aggressive exterior, she was clever and compassionate. At Birger's behest, he'd shown her some of his inventions, and she'd been clearly impressed. Hiccup, in turn, was astonished by how well she handled weapons. This had quickly earned her the respect of the whole village, as well. It didn't take long for Birger's mother to give her her old axe to train.

Her skill also earned her the attention of Snotlout, who constantly flirted with her, seemingly unaware that she couldn't care less about him. He, like everyone else, couldn't understand that Astrid got on so well with both Hiccup and Birger, who were something like the weirdos of the tribe. More than once, he had heard him suggest that she ditch her friends to hang out with the 'cool kids'. Luckily, she was never interested.

They'd grown close. Well, Astrid and Birger were already pretty close, that had been clear by their interactions. How they had secrets, inside jokes that they avoided in front of Hiccup, but he could tell. At first, he assumed that the unpleasant feeling he got when that happened was just jealousy. Birger used to be friends _only_ with him, and now not only was that no longer the case, but Astrid was just as close to the boy as him, if not more. He knew it was ridiculous to feel this way; if Astrid and Birger had known each other since he was six, then of course he'd be closer to her than to him.

He kept believing that, until one day, when he gave Astrid a little tool he'd made for Birger's mother, to help her with farming.

"Hiccup, this is great, but...I can't pay you."

He'd thrown his hands up. "Please. This is just a present. From a friend to another friend."

She'd frowned, ever the prideful one. "You don't have to pity us, Hiccup."

Such a reaction had been expected. "I don't. I want to help you out, in the same way you do."

Her face had softened at that. "Thank you, Hiccup." Then she'd done something he had _not_ expected: she'd kissed him on the cheek, shyly, then walked away.

The torrent of emotions that single gesture had caused was overwhelming. That night, in bed, he'd had to evaluate his feelings, and came to the conclusion that he was wrong about his jealousy.

He wasn't jealous of Astrid for being close to Birger. He was jealous of _Birger_ for being close to _Astrid_. _He_ wanted to be that close to her.

He liked her, a lot.

At first, he didn't know what to do. The following day, he avoided her while he tried to choose a course of action. In the end, he decided that he didn't want to risk losing her friendship.

Did that make him a coward? Maybe. But it wasn't like anybody would ever find out. (Birger did because he made the mistake of wistfully staring at her for too long. He'd learned to be more discreet.)

"Hey."

He was so deep in thought that he almost jumped at the voice behind him.

"Hey, Astrid." He tried not to blush, especially considering what had just been running through his mind.

"Working late?"

"Yup. Same as you." Acting like nothing was up around her had been hard at first, but he'd got better, or so he hoped. It was easier when Birger wasn't with them, because he teased Hiccup relentlessly.

He put the sword he'd been working on down and turned to face her. Gods, she was beautiful. Her face was flushed, likely from the exertion, her blonde hair slightly frazzled, but to him, that just added to her charm. She wasn't some delicate flower. She was fierce.

And he liked that far too much.

"Did Birger pass through here already?"

"Yeah, he was on his way to eat something."

"Oh." She looked around him. "Are you done?"

"I still have one more axe."

"Were you planning to eat afterwards?"

"Sure. I'll join you later."

"Nah, I'll wait for you, if it's one axe."

"Are you sure?" he asked, even though she'd already sat down on a stool. "Don't go hungry on my account."

"I won't die if I wait a bit longer. I'm fine." She grinned. "But thanks for the concern."

While he worked, she told him about her day, and he spoke about his. The conversation flowed naturally, comfortably. He didn't feel at ease with anyone else the way he did with her. The last thing he wanted to do was make it awkward with his unfortunate crush. So he kept it to himself. Later, when they walked together, their hands accidentally brushed against one another, and his heart beat just a little faster, but he ignored it.

Nobody had to know.

* * *

Ingrid was worried, and so was Astrid, to be honest. Having turned fourteen, Birger had started to go on fishing trips some time ago, being deemed old enough by the other fishermen. At first his mother would not rest easy until he came back home. Later on, as it became evident that he was careful, she was calmer.

This was his third trip alone. The first two had gone without a hitch, and he'd brought plenty of fish back. This time, however, he'd been gone for four days already. Astrid knew that the longest the fishermen were usually gone for was three days, and that was only if they planned to go far away, which wasn't Birger's case. He was only a day late, but Astrid had a bad feeling.

She didn't share her thoughts with Ingrid, since the poor woman was suffering enough. She did, however, tell Hiccup. He questioned her premonition, but she could tell he was just as concerned as her.

It made sense, too. It had taken her just a few days of being here to realise that he and Birger were even closer than Birg had told her in his letters. They were the two ostracised people of the village (which she thought was unfair), and as such they stuck together.

He was friends with Birger, so she made friends with him, too. She could see why he didn't fit in with his village: he was too smart and not strong enough for them. But she wasn't like the rest of the village. She appreciated his talents, and the way he sometimes blushed at her compliments told her he wasn't used to them. That made her sad. He deserved recognition.

Birger had given him that, too. And now, he was missing.

For days, she had to be strong, just so that Ingrid wouldn't break down completely. Stoick, with whom she had a fairly cordial relationship, told her they'd do what they could to find him. Expeditions were sent to search for him, and words of consolation were given to her by the other villagers.

However, rather than comfort her, that pissed her off. The rest of Berk didn't really care about Birger, for whatever reason, and if they accepted her, it was only because she was great with weapons. Hiccup didn't receive the consoling words of his people, only the usual scorn. They only said what they did to her because they admired her strength, not because they really cared about her.

But she couldn't lash out at these people that had given her a home when they could've easily turned her away. So she swallowed her anger, forced a smile and thanked them. Later, she'd unleash her frustration at the situation with her axe. Well, that and vent to Hiccup, of course.

Time passed, and Birger never appeared. The bad feeling in her gut turned into a pain that grew stronger every day, and she knew what it was. The same feeling she'd had when she'd come here.

The loss of a loved one. She knew, deep down, that Birger was long gone. She never voiced it, but everyone thought the same. Especially when Stoick called off the search parties. He claimed it was because the ice would soon set in, but she knew better.

Then Ingrid left. She apologised to Astrid a thousand times, explaining that she needed to start anew, that she couldn't bear to be in a place where everything reminded her of her lost son. Astrid told her not to worry, and wished her the best. She didn't begrudge the woman her decision, but she was concerned: what was going to happen to her?

She soon found out. When Ingrid told Stoick her decision, the chief called Astrid to his hut later and told her that one family, the Svensons, were willing to take her in, provided she kept working like she had. They were an old marriage who'd been unable to have any children. And although they treated her fine, it wasn't the same. There wasn't that feeling of a lifelong bond. Her home had been taken from her, _again_. The pain may not be as strong as when she lost her father, but it was close.

She spent most of her time with Hiccup those days. He was the only one who felt what she did. They often went to the cliffs and sat down together, holding hands and saying nothing, for there was no comfort to be had. Hiccup was, quite literally, the only person she had left, which was a terrifying thought. What would she do if something happened to him? If they were forced to be separated?

Again, she was going to find out a lot sooner than she'd hoped. It was wash day, and she was walking towards the stream where they cleaned their clothes, when she heard her name mentioned. She hid among the trees and eavesdropped on the conversation.

"Of course she'd go after the son of the _chief_ , that sly bitch. That's one sure way to get to the top."

"Do you really think that's what she's trying to do?"

"Think about it. She came here from somewhere else, and got in with a poor family. Now she's with another low-income marriage. She probably wants some stability in her life."

"Can you blame her for that?"

"No, but the son of the chief? Could've gone a little lower, like the Jorgenson kid. Bitch just wants to get rich."

The other women agreed, and Astrid walked away with a lump on her throat. She'd heard enough.

While she washed her clothes further down the river, she ran over the words, wondering what the best course of action would be. She could just ignore them, but some of those women had husbands in the council of elders, and the last thing she needed was them getting ideas into their men's heads. Ideas that might, at best, earn her some resentment, and at worst, get her thrown off the island.

After a few minutes of mental debate, she knew there was only one alternative. It broke her heart, but it was the only thing she could do to survive.

And so, from that day on, she started giving Hiccup the cold shoulder. She separated from him completely, no longer stopping by the forge unless she had to, and even then, she made it as quick as possible. She ignored him when he visited her, and soon enough he got the hint and stopped doing it.

The pain in his eyes hurt her. But not as much as being left without a home again would.

Upon seeing this, Snotlout and the twins approached her, thinking she'd join the Hiccup-torture brigade. But she didn't. She wanted to prevent _any_ sort of rumour, so she stayed away from everyone.

And when, one day, she once again eavesdropped on the old ladies, and heard them say that they suspected she'd become a shieldmaiden, she felt a grim sense of satisfaction.

She was alone. So alone, even with the Svensons' kindness. But she'd never be so lost again.

And if that was the price to pay, so be it.

* * *

Hiccup couldn't understand what had happened.

One day, he and Astrid were the best of friends. And then suddenly the next, she was ignoring him completely.

He might've thought that Snotlout or the twins had told her something to convince her to drop him as a friend... except that she didn't hang out with them, either. She was always by herself. So that wasn't it.

Was it his fault? He kept racking his brain, going through everything that he'd said or done, trying to find something that might've caused her sudden attitude, but he came up empty every time.

Eventually, he formed two theories. The first was that she'd figured out he liked her, somehow, and was putting distance between them to make it clear to him that she wasn't interested. The mere idea hurt, not just knowing that his crush was unrequited, but that the scenario he'd purposefully tried to avoid had come to pass anyway.

His other theory was that she reminded him of Birger, so she stayed away because she couldn't handle it. That was what had caused Birger's mum to leave; who was to say she didn't feel the same?

Whatever the reason, he had now been deprived of his only two friends, and was lonelier than ever. The only one who talked to him somewhat normally was Gobber, but he counted more as a mentor than a friend.

And so it was until he met Toothless. He discovered that dragons weren't the murderous beasts Berk had always thought they were, and immediately became close to him. This made his performance at dragon training (where he'd been placed against his will) increase dramatically, and earned him the admiration of his peers.

But Hiccup couldn't care less what Snotlout or the twins thought of him. The only one who really concerned him was Astrid. And though it clearly bothered her that he was becoming better than her, she never spoke to him, angrily or otherwise.

She merely increased how much she trained, which he discovered one afternoon when he was walking to try Toothless' new fin and chanced upon her. She'd been surprised to see him, but he'd slipped away without a word.

He thought nothing of it, and the days went on. Toothless' new tail worked perfectly. He won the competition of Dragon Training and was chosen to kill the Nightmare. And after a lot of reflection, he realised that he'd never be able to go through with it. There was only one thing to do, and that was leaving.

Nobody would really miss him, anyway.

He was on his way to the cove, when out of nowhere came Astrid's voice.

"Going somewhere?"

He whirled around and saw her perched upon a rock, watching him with a perplexed frown. Her tone had been perfectly neutral, but as she took notice of his pack, her eyes widened.

"You're leaving?"

It was the first time in a long while that she showed any kind of emotion towards him. That disarmed him, and he saw no way to deny it.

"Yes", he said flatly.

"Why?"

He sighed. How could he even explain it to her? It wasn't possible.

Granted, Astrid, like Birger, didn't have the same hate for the dragons that the rest of the village did. Having grown up in a dragon-free environment meant she hadn't been raised to want to kill every dragon in sight. She disliked them after seeing them in action during the raids, but it wasn't the blind rage of the other villagers.

If there was a chance of anyone listening to him, it was her.

But did he even want to? She'd shut him down suddenly and with no explanation. Her being here didn't mean she wanted to fix things, as far as he knew.

Or was she?

"Why are you here?" he blurted out.

"Because I wanted to talk to you."

"Oh, so _now_ you want to talk." Months of feeling hurt by her attitude were coming forth, and it was evident in his harsh tone. "I couldn't get a word out of you for so long, but now I won Dragon Training, so you want to-"

"That's not it!" she interrupted him; she looked agitated. "I just... you're hiding something. I didn't come sooner because, well, I didn't think it was any of my business."

"It's not", he agreed bitterly.

"Except that, whatever it is, it's going to make you leave. So I do care."

"Since when?" he spat out.

She was taken aback. "We... we've been friends for a long time, Hiccup. Of course I care."

"Oh, _are_ we friends? Because, going by the way you've ignored me all this time, I would've thought otherwise." He could hear the raw pain in his voice, and he wondered briefly if showing her so much of his emotions was a good idea.

She actually seemed sad. "That wasn't... it wasn't because of you."

"So what was it?" A small part of him was hoping. Hoping there was an explanation for everything.

She sighed. "You wouldn't understand."

He scoffed. "Of course." His hope died immediately. He hefted his pack and turned around. "Goodbye, Astrid."

"Wait!" In an instant, she'd jumped off the rock she'd been perched on and landed in front of him. "Wait, please."

"What?" he asked, annoyed. Just what he needed. She'd ignored him for so long, and now that he was finally leaving, she wouldn't let him?

"I..." she took a deep breath. "I'm sorry. For giving you the cold shoulder."

He studied her face carefully. Her expression was full of remorse, not a hint that she was lying. Her eyes were downcast, and her usually perfect posture was slumped.

She meant it.

In an instant, the anger melted away, leaving only the ache in his chest. "Why?" he asked softly.

She sighed. "You're going to think it's stupid." Suddenly, she looked up at him determinedly. "But you did nothing wrong."

"Then why?" he insisted. "Please, Astrid. I promise I won't laugh."

She told him, and he felt his blood boil. Those gossipy old ladies with far too loose tongues... And what was worse, she was right. He didn't tell her, but he knew enough about the council of elders, and her fears were entirely justified.

He'd never cared about those people much, but now he was _pissed_. They'd inadvertently got in the way of the only friendship he had left.

Still, there was one thing that bothered him.

"Why didn't you just tell me all this? I would've understood. We could've worked something out." Meet in secret, or something. She didn't have to leave him hanging like that.

She sighed again. "Because... I was scared out of my mind, and I didn't think. I couldn't bear the idea of losing my home again. I didn't want to be hurt... and instead, I hurt _you._ So much. I'm sorry. I should've told you."

"Yeah, you should've", he agreed, before softening his tone. "But be that as it may, it's in the past and there's nothing we can do about it."

The last thing he wanted to do was to hold a grudge against her. After all, people could do stupid things when they were afraid. She was only human. She could make mistakes.

And he knew how much her father's death still hurt her, by the way she refused to talk about it. He couldn't blame her if she wanted to avoid that pain at all costs.

"So... can we be friends again?"

He almost said yes, impulsively, before remembering what he'd been about to do when she interrupted him.

Sure, they could be friends again. But that didn't change the predicament he was in, not one bit. He still couldn't kill a dragon.

His mind went back to his previous thoughts about her, and how she didn't hate dragons like everyone else.

Could he...?

Well, it was worth a try, if nothing else. If it failed, then he'd just have to stick to his original plan. It wasn't like Astrid was going to come with him or anything. Not when she'd just told him how afraid she was of losing her home.

"Well, I didn't expect you to forgive me that easily." Astrid's voice was sad, and he realised he'd been silent for so long, she'd taken that as a no.

"No, no, that's not it!" he hurried to say. "We can be friends." She smiled widely, and was going to add something else when he continued. "But first, I need to show you something."

She was confused for a second, before her expression cleared. "Your secret?"

He nodded. "The reason why I was leaving. Just... promise me one thing."

"Of course."

"That you'll watch, and listen, before making any judgement. Please."

She nodded, and he breathed deeply. "Okay. Then come on."

They walked towards the cove, in a silence that was a bit uncomfortable. Astrid probably wasn't sure how to talk to him, and he was too worried about what might happen to speak. He was glad that Astrid didn't have her axe with her; Toothless might attack her otherwise.

Once they were down at the cove, he looked around, searching for his dragon friend. He wasn't anywhere to be seen, which made him nervous.

Astrid was behind him, and he hadn't realised she was looking around as well, until she spoke. "Hey, what is that?" she asked, pointing. He turned in that direction, and his stomach dropped.

That was Toothless, all right. Toothless, who'd noticed him and began sprinting towards him. He'd gone a long way before he realised Hiccup wasn't alone, and stopped, baring his teeth and growling.

"What the..." Astrid's voice suddenly sounded desperate. He felt her hand grabbing him and trying to pull him with her. "Run! Run!"

"No, wait!" He broke free and went towards Toothless. "It's fine! She's a friend."

The Night Fury looked between them for a few moments, and then, seemingly satisfied that Astrid was no threat to Hiccup, stopped growling. His eyes, which had narrowed to slits, widened again, giving him that curious expression that made him look far less dangerous.

Hiccup turned around to find Astrid watching them with eyes as big as plates. She stood like that for a second before shaking her head.

"Oh Hiccup, what have you done?"

* * *

She had to tell him.

She kept saying that to herself, and yet her nerve always failed her.

He'd shared _his_ own deep, potentially disastrous secret with her, even when she'd left him alone for such a long time. He'd found forgiveness within himself, and showed her what he was hiding.

He'd showed her Toothless, even knowing that she might well tell on him to his father. It was what she should've done.

She hadn't, of course. Because no matter what, she couldn't bring herself to hate dragons the way everyone else did. And when Toothless appeared to be a huge, curious cat, and she saw how much Hiccup cared for him, she knew she'd never do anything to hurt him.

Because that would hurt Hiccup, and she'd done enough of that.

After that, everything had gone by in a blur. They'd flown together, and discovered the queen's nest. Hiccup asked her to keep quiet, because he was afraid of what might happen to his dragon friend, and she'd accepted. Then everything had gone wrong at the Kill Ring when Hiccup tried to appease the Monstrous Nightmare. The tribe had left them to go kill the queen, despite Hiccup's warnings to his father. They'd gathered the other teens, the few dragons left and taken care of the dragon queen themselves.

And Hiccup had lost a foot, and nearly his life.

She'd spent a lot of time sitting by his bed, waiting patiently for him to wake up, the opinion of the council of elders be damned. She wasn't about to leave her only friend alone in a time like this.

Well, not entirely alone. Toothless wouldn't leave Hiccup's side, either. And Stoick could only be dragged away for emergencies. He sat there, clearly blaming himself for everything.

That had given her a lot of time to think. And to realise that she owed it to Hiccup to tell him the truth. Or at least the part about her heritage. (She couldn't bear to talk about the other part, not yet.)

He'd woken up, and had led the village through the transition from killing dragons to living with them. Peaceful cohabitation had been difficult, especially thanks to the effort of one nasty man called Mildew, but they'd managed it. And throughout all that, she'd been by Hiccup's side.

They had become even closer than before, and it made her uneasy. Knowing that he trusted her so completely while she was still hiding so much from him.

He deserved to know. Which was why she'd resolved to tell him. If she ever found the courage to, that was.

That afternoon, she was alone, in the woods, practising her axe-throwing, Stormfly napping nearby, when Hiccup walked by with Toothless. She knew he'd arrived because her Nadder got up to play with the Night Fury.

"Oh, hey, Astrid", Hiccup greeted her.

"Hey."

"Did Snotlout piss you off again, or are you just practising?"

She chuckled. "Just practising, for now."

"Good. I don't think Spitelout would be too happy with you if you killed his son."

"I know, I know."

Hiccup sat down and, taking out his sketchbook, began to work on something, while she continued with the axe. They remained in companionable silence for some time, and she felt her secret like a weight on her chest, begging to be let out.

"I..."

"What?" Hiccup looked up at her. She stared into those green eyes, and felt that she couldn't bear it if they turned judgemental.

"Nothing."

"Okay." He went back to his sketchbook, and cursing herself, she went back to practice.

"I need to tell you something", she blurted out suddenly, like the words just exploded from inside her.

"Oh?" This time, he put the sketchbook down. "What is it?"

She inhaled, putting her thoughts in order. This was it. No backing down. "Before I do, promise one thing."

"Of course", he said, and it reminded her so much of when he'd asked that promise of her.

"That you won't judge until you hear everything I have to say."

"I promise."

Leaving her axe, she sat down next to him and began picking at the grass. "It's about my father."

"What about him?" His tone was cautious, probably because she never talked about this subject.

"He..." Gods, how did she put this into words that didn't sound so bad?

"Astrid, if this is too painful, I can wait." He knew her father was dead. Of course he'd say that.

She shook her head. "No, no it can't. My father was... well..." _Come on, Astrid. You can do it._ "My father was Hoettr Hofferson", she blurted.

Hiccup frowned. "Who?"

Damn. How could he not know him? Stoick had to have talked about him at some point. "Did your father ever tell you about dangerous men around the archipelago?"

"A bit, yeah."

"Did he ever tell you about a man who could kill anyone if it was requested of him, and nobody ever found out who he was? It was rumoured he took down several chiefs and the bosses of important illegal trades."

Hiccup looked like he was trying to decipher something. At last, he smiled. "Ah, yes! Now I remember. Hofferson. The famous assassin." Then his smile faded. He stared at her, his eyes wide.

This was it. The moment she'd been fearing.

But his eyes showed no resentment, or fear. Just surprise and a bit of curiosity. "And you say he was your father?"

"Yes", she said quietly.

He looked down, pensive. "Huh."

"What does that mean?" she asked, on edge.

His opinion mattered. Him not hating her was important.

"It means... I'd never imagine an assassin as a father."

She sighed. Of course he'd think that. "Well, he was. And a great one." She wouldn't have her father's memory bashed.

He chuckled briefly.

"What?"

"Just... on the one hand, I have a hard time believing someone who kills for a living can be a great father. On the other hand... I know you, and you turned out all right. That wouldn't have happened if he'd been a bad father. Because you said your mother died giving birth to you, right?"

"Yeah", she nodded. That had been another thing they'd had in common from the beginning: not knowing their mothers, since his had died when he was a baby.

"I mean, I can see why you don't scream it from the rooftops. People might think you're going to become like him and..." He trailed off.

"Murder them for money?" she finished.

"Well, I didn't want to say it like that."

"Do _you_ think that?" she asked, anxiously.

He looked up at her, frowning. "Of course not. I know you." His eyebrows rose. "Did you really think I was going to believe that?"

"I didn't know", she said with forced casualness. "I mean, it's not every day you find out your best friend's father is an assassin."

"True", he said. "But my opinion of you won't change because of who your father is. I mean, look at Dad and me. We couldn't be more different."

"Except for the stubbornness", she smirked. "You both have that."

"I guess. Is that all?"

She frowned in confusion. "What do you mean, is that all?" She'd been terrified to reveal this to him, and he was shrugging it off so easily.

"Yeah, is there anything else you wanted to tell me?"

"Uh, no. I think that was a pretty big revelation."

"I suppose. But it doesn't change anything... between us, at least. Though you probably shouldn't tell others." He winced. "I think I won't tell Dad. I'm not sure how he'd react."

"Me either." There was a pause. "Thank you. For everything." For not judging her. For seeing her the same way, despite knowing her heritage. It was something she knew not many people would do.

He smiled. "Anytime."

* * *

So many things could change in three years.

Berk had finally adapted completely to the presence of dragons. The Outcasts had tried to attack the island many times, and eventually turned to their side. (Seeing Alvin had terrified Astrid, for he knew her secret and if he recognised her, he could spill the beans easily. But apparently she'd changed enough that he didn't realise who she was.) The Berserkers had also attacked, unsuccessfully, and Dagur had been put behind bars... only to escape. Hiccup had discovered something he'd called the Dragon Eye, and now their group of riders had moved into an island far from Berk.

She had also become closer (sort of) to the other riders, particularly Fishlegs, who wasn't as dense as a yak, unlike the others.

And Hiccup... well, that was a different case altogether. Ever since she'd dared to share her secret with him, she'd felt so much more at ease with him. He knew almost everything about her, and still didn't judge her for it, just accepted her as she was. He also didn't begrudge her for having left him alone, and for a reason that she now considered stupid. (She understood her own fears then, and how they had clouded her mind.) She was more grateful to him than she could convey with words.

Three years had changed something else, however. Something she hadn't really noticed until now.

He had _grown._

Obviously, they'd all grown up in three years, but in Hiccup, the change was much more notorious. He'd sprouted up until he was taller than all of them. His face was different, more mature, his jaw much more square.

He'd become... handsome, to tell the truth. That much, she had noticed.

But she'd never really paid attention to his physique. He was still as lean as he'd always been, even if he was actually much stronger.

She hadn't meant to spy on him, really. She'd just gone to the springs for a bath, since it was early in the morning and nobody else would be up... but he was already there.

Had she ever seen him shirtless before? She didn't think so. She'd never even thought about it, to be honest. She'd never wondered what he looked like beneath his clothes.

She was thinking about it _now_. Because there he was, energetically rinsing his hair, with the water reaching only to his waist, and she could see every muscle on his perfectly defined torso. No, he wasn't overly buff, like most Vikings, but he certainly looked strong anyway. Strong enough to perform dangerous stunts while riding Toothless.

Strong enough to make her knees weak. Gods, what was wrong with her? He was her _friend_. She shouldn't be... ogling him like this. It was wrong. She shouldn't be thinking about him like that. She didn't see him in that way.

Did she?

The question seemingly made her brain stop in her tracks. She'd never asked it before.

And there would be no time to answer it right now, because a noise from Hiccup made her realise that, while his eyes were currently closed, they could open at any time, and he might discover her. She wasn't sure she'd be able to face him then.

So she quietly slipped back to her room, glad that, wherever Toothless was, wasn't near Hiccup. He might've alerted Hiccup to her presence.

She decided to go for a morning flight, to clear her head. She called Stormfly and took off. Up in the air, her thoughts returned to what had happened minutes before. More specifically, the question of whether she saw Hiccup _only_ as a friend.

She'd never thought of him any other way. Maybe what had happened was just a natural reaction. He was, by most standards, an attractive guy, and she was seventeen. It would make sense that that kind of thought entered her head. It didn't have to mean anything.

And yet, she couldn't help but feel that wasn't true. She'd seen guys she thought were attractive before, when she'd been on other islands (there was a decided shortage of people their age on Berk). None of them had caused such a reaction.

Could it be? She pondered her actions towards him in the past. It was true that, whenever he put himself in danger during their battles with the Berserkers or the Outcasts, she felt a surge of anxiety for his well-being. When he'd come back after being taken by Alvin, she'd wanted to both kill the Outcast leader and tackle-hug Hiccup. But she'd always thought it was just a natural part of their friendship. After all, friends looked out for each other, right?

Maybe this was a recent development. Maybe it had begun to grow when they were in Berk, and at peace for once. When she accompanied him on quests to find new dragons. When she saw how his enthusiasm didn't falter, even as such discoveries became few and far between. Maybe all that time they'd spent alone had let her see him in a new light. (Especially now that she felt confident enough in her position not to be bothered by what the council of elders might do.)

She wished there was a way to know for certain. She wished she had a friend who she could ask for advice. The other riders definitely didn't count, not for this matter.

She got back from her flight, and headed towards the spring again. So deep in thought was she, that she didn't notice Hiccup coming her way until she collided with him. His hand curled around her wrist automatically to keep her from falling.

Some distant part of her mind recalled that this was how their first meeting had gone. Except that, that time, they'd both fallen down, and now he'd caught her easily.

"Hey", he said humorously. "Distracted much?"

She looked up at him. Damn, did wet hair look _good_ on him, and his hand was making her arm way warmer than it should be. "Yeah, I guess."

"Want to talk about it?"

His smile was sincere and, all of a sudden, she found it disarming. Gods, she could actually feel herself _blushing_.

"Nah, don't worry."

"Okay."

He let her go and was on his way, leaving her behind, staring at him, and disbelieving of her own reaction.

If she'd had doubts before, she didn't have any now. She most definitely liked Hiccup Haddock.

* * *

The day had started like any other. Hiccup had asked Astrid to fly with him, since he was going to scout out some islands to get some information on the Berserker's movements. Dagur was on the loose, and he was dangerous, so he wanted to try to anticipate anything he may do.

They'd been walking along the road of a shady town, keeping an eye out for anyone who attacked them, when it happened.

Hiccup asked Astrid something, and that was when he noticed that she wasn't by his side anymore. He turned around, confused, and saw that she'd stopped a few paces behind, and was staring at something. He followed her gaze to find two men who were standing outside the door of a tavern, arguing. He watched them carefully, but couldn't recognise either of them.

He walked closer to Astrid, to ask her what was going on... when he noticed her stare. She wasn't paying special attention to them, nor was she glaring daggers. No, instead, her eyes were wide, her mouth parted in a small 'o', her whole stance tense.

It took him a moment to understand what he was seeing. Astrid was _scared_. Terrified of those two men, who she kept staring at.

The idea was absurd, for if there was anyone who was fearless, it was her. And yet nothing else could bring such an expression upon her face.

The question was, _why_? Who were those men? Did she know them before she came to Berk?

Suddenly, he froze. Her father had been an assassin. Astrid had never talked about her life with him, but if the man had killed for a living... he'd probably made a few enemies.

Was he seeing those enemies right now? Was that why Astrid looked so afraid? She could probably take them on, but if she remembered them as a child... she might not be so rational.

Only one way to find out.

"Astrid?" he asked softly, so as not to spook her further. His voice broke her out of her reverie. She turned her head towards him, slowly, and blinked at him. Then, with a shake of her head, she went back to a more normal stance... although her eyes still seemed bigger than normal.

"Are you okay?" he asked, concerned.

"I'm fine", she said, but her voice lacked its usual confidence.

"Are you sure?"

Her eyes went back to the men, and she froze. He turned around to see that one of them was now staring at her, and his eyebrows suddenly rose. In recognition, he realised.

Then he gave Astrid a leering smile, one that was absolutely revolting. Hiccup was about to march over to him and ask what his problem was, when Astrid tugged on his arm.

"Hiccup, let's go", she said urgently.

"What-"

"I said we have to go! That man knows me!" There was terror in her tone, the likes of which he'd never heard coming from her.

They rushed away from the town and towards their dragons, who they'd hidden in the forest. When Astrid reached Stormfly, she hugged her tightly, and the Nadder let out a concerned squawk. Hiccup, too, looked on worriedly.

"Astrid?"

"Let's go", she repeated, and without looking back at him, climbed on her dragon.

The flight back was silent. He wanted to ask what had happened, but he could tell she'd just brush him off again. He only hoped that she'd tell him, sooner rather than later.

Once they got to the Edge, Astrid went straight to her hut, and he decided against following her. Instead, he resumed working on his latest project in the forge. When she didn't come to have dinner with the rest of the riders in the clubhouse, his concern grew, so he gave them an excuse for why she wasn't there. Whatever was bothering Astrid, the others coming to badger her wouldn't help at all.

Before going to bed, he contemplated visiting her once more. He was in the middle of a one-sided conversation with Toothless when there was a violent thump downstairs. He rushed to the edge of the loft, and saw Stormfly had barged in and was cawing urgently.

He didn't hesitate. Toothless was up in an instant, and they quickly flew to Astrid's hut. He walked in, bracing himself for what he might find.

Whatever he expected, Astrid sitting on her bed with her head in her hands and sobbing wasn't it. Her shoulders were shaking, and the little noises she made were absolutely heartbreaking.

"Astrid?" He had a feeling of déjà vu when, for the second time that day, he spoke her name softly.

She raised her head. Her eyes were red, rimmed with tears. "Hiccup? What are you doing here?"

The fact that she wasn't even trying to hide her anguish spoke volumes. "Well, Stormfly came to get me. She seemed worried."

"Did she?" she muttered, looking down at her hands.

"Yes, but _I_ was also worried." He paused, before asking the question that had been on his mind. "Who was that man, Astrid?"

Some of the tears began to fall. She swallowed and sniffed. She seemed to be collecting her thoughts, trying to get herself together.

Deciding it was the appropriate thing to do, he went to the bed. She stiffened for a second as he sat down beside her, then relaxed again. Well, sort of.

"Look, Astrid", he began carefully. "I don't want to pry, but whatever this is, it's clearly affecting you. I hate to see you like this. I want to help."

She nodded. "I know. I just..." She trailed off, and more tears fell.

Since she seemed incapable of speaking, he decided to voice his suspicion. Maybe it'd be easier if she just nodded along. "Was that man related to your life before Berk? To your father? Was he an enemy of him?"

She raised her head to look at him, surprised, before grinning wryly and staring back down. "Of course. Sometimes I forget how smart you are."

"So I'm right?"

"Yes, but... not in the way you're thinking. He..." She choked on her words for a moment, before continuing. "He was the one who poisoned my father."

Hiccup stiffened. She'd never mentioned that her father hadn't died of natural causes.

He thought about her, scared and alone, trying to find her way to Berk, to her only friend. Wondering if she'd be next...

"Oh, Astrid..." He put a hand on her shoulder, but she shook it off.

"I'm not done", she said. "That... was one of the two... atrocities he committed. The other..."

She tried to continue, but sobs began racking her again. He put his hand on her shoulder again, and this time she allowed it. He wondered what had happened to make her react like this, but gave her space.

"I... I haven't been entirely honest with you, Hiccup."

"What do you mean?"

"I mean... there's something I haven't told you, or anyone for that matter. Not because I was afraid of how you'd react, like with my father's identity, but because..." She swallowed. "I just... couldn't bring myself to talk about it."

A suspicion of what she was referring to began to grow in his mind, but he ignored it. It was too horrible to even think about. Yet when she tried, and failed, to speak several times, he realised he'd have to say it himself.

"Astrid... did he..." How did he say this as delicately as possible? "...touch you?"

A sob escaped her. "He tried to."

For a moment, he didn't know how to react. The confirmation that the worst had happened left him shocked. He felt many emotions coursing through him. Horror. Pity for her. Disgust. And finally, a strong, burning hatred for the man who dared to do such a thing to his best friend. He felt rage like never before in his life. He wanted to find this man and sick Toothless on him, take an axe to him, anything, so that he'd pay for what he'd done.

He hadn't realised his hands had turned into fists until Astrid gently placed her palm over his own. His hands were trembling with his anger.

He looked into her anguished, scared eyes. He saw how affected she was by the whole ordeal.

"Hiccup..."

"I'm going to find him", he declared. "And when I do, not even the gods themselves will be able to protect him from me." His voice sounded strange to his own ears, filled with a tranquil fury.

"Hiccup, stop." Her eyes were still wet and red, but determined. "Please. You don't think I've thought about that? Revenge?"

"Then why don't you want me to do it?"

"Because..." She sniffled. "Because _I'm_ the one he did that to. I should be the one to get justice. And if today was any indication, I'm obviously not ready for that."

She looked down, embarrassed. As if it was her fault that any of this had happened. Hiccup hated this man even more for that. For making her feel guilty of something when she was merely a victim.

"Astrid", he said, trying to control his voice, "that's only reasonable. I mean... how old were you when it happened?"

He regretted the question as soon as he asked it. Astrid didn't glance at him, however. Merely took a deep breath before answering.

"Ten."

A new wave of rage washed over him. What kind of sick monster did that to a _child_? Hiccup wasn't violent by nature, but whatever that man got as punishment, he hoped it was harsh. He deserved it. He deserved to burn in Hel.

His hands had started shaking again, because Astrid spoke. "Hiccup. Please. You're scaring me. You're not like this."

"You're right. I'm not. But I can't just... do nothing over something like _this_. You're my friend. I want to help you."

"I know. But randomly attacking a man isn't going to help. If... if I get justice, I want it to be on the right terms." She breathed deeply. Her tears had mostly stopped by now. "Mindless carnage was a part of my everyday life... before I came to Berk. I'd like to think I'm past that stage."

He closed his eyes for a moment, willing himself to calm down and think rationally. Yes, he still wanted to get payback on the man. But if Astrid wanted it to be through the proper procedures, he should listen to her.

His eyes opened again. "Okay", he said. "So what do you want? A trial? I can ask Dad."

"I... don't know. I mean, I'm aware I'll have to see him again. But... I don't want any public when I do that. I'm not sure I could take that."

"Maybe we can have a private trial, then? Just you and my Dad, and I suppose one or two elders will be necessary. But nobody else."

"Can that be done?"

The hope in her eyes broke his heart again, having just seen her crying desperately. He didn't know if what he was suggesting was possible, but he'd do whatever he had to to make it happen.

"I will have it done. I promise you."

Her eyes watered again. Just barely. "Thank you, Hiccup. And it goes without saying, but don't tell anybody else."

"Obviously."

They sat in silence for a moment. He wondered if she wanted him to go. _He_ certainly didn't want to leave her alone. Not like this.

Suddenly, she wrapped her arms tightly around him. He hugged back with just as much force, trying to convey the message that he was here, for her. Always. He heard her sniffling a bit more.

"We'll get through this, Astrid", he promised, rubbing his hands up and down her back. "Together."

* * *

The chief's voice boomed as he spoke.

"Miss Hofferson, it's your turn now. Relate the events as they happened."

Astrid breathed deeply. Having the man who'd killed her father and nearly raped her so close to her was disturbing. She hated the fact that more people had to find out about what had happened, but it was necessary.

Hiccup had gone to his father, and after telling him the scarcest details possible, Stoick had explained that, given that the crime hadn't happened on his island and she didn't live on Berk at that time, he didn't have any authority. If she wanted justice, he said, the case had to be taken to the chief of the island where it had actually taken place, so that a fair trial may be held.

Finding the man again was a simple matter of visiting the shady town again. Astrid had guided Hiccup so he could make a more or less accurate drawing of the man, and then Stoick himself had gone with them and threatened everyone he came across until they found him.

Once they did that, they immediately set off for the island where the trial would be held, for Astrid had no wish to see that man any longer than necessary. They'd found the chief, and she'd presented her quarry.

The man, whose name she purposefully didn't pay attention to, claimed to never have seen her before, saying he'd probably been at a tavern or something when the event took place, but he didn't remember because it had been so long ago.

And now it was Astrid's turn. She, Hiccup and Stoick were sitting around a table. The island's chief was on his throne, while the accused was being held by a guard.

She closed her eyes for a moment... and felt Hiccup's hand find hers and squeeze. She looked at him, and he smiled encouragingly.

She remembered Birger consoling her after her father's death. He'd been there for her in a difficult time. So was Hiccup.

She didn't let go of him as she told the whole story, finding her father's body and the man there, his attempt, until another man had come in to save her.

"And who was this other man? Do you remember his name?"

It took her a moment to recall. "Tadeo."

The chief nodded at one of the guards at the door, who slipped away. "Let us call him forth, so that he can testify as well."

They had to wait a few minutes for the guard to return. It was silent, and though she could feel that man's eyes on her, she refused to look at him. Hiccup was brushing his thumb over the back of her hand, and she focused on that feeling instead.

Finally, they were back. Even though she'd only seen him once before, she immediately recognised Tadeo. His face, like the other man's, was burned forever into her memory, and it brought a sense of uneasiness, remembering how she'd rejected his kind offer. He recognised her too, and smiled briefly.

"Tadeo", the chief spoke. "This lass here-" he nodded to Astrid "-says that the man over there attempted to force himself on her when she was younger. She also claims you helped her. Can you confirm this?"

"I can, chief."

"So this man is guilty?"

"Absolutely." Tadeo's face turned angry. "We had captured him, in fact, and sent him to a dungeon. I don't know how he escaped, but someone like _him_ shouldn't be running around freely."

She didn't know that. She only knew he'd been taken, but never learned what happened to him. She was glad, though; if she'd heard that he'd escaped, she would've been terrified.

The chief nodded darkly. "How old would you say she was?"

"I don't know. Nine, ten?"

The chief turned to her. "Is this correct?"

She nodded. "I was ten."

She felt both Hiccup and Stoick tense beside her, especially the latter. She hadn't told him that particular detail.

"Thank you, Tadeo. That will be all."

The man nodded, caught Astrid's eye, and smiled. And Astrid knew, at that moment, that he'd never held a grudge on her for having run from him, and never would. She returned the smile.

As he left, the chief got up.

"Well, I've heard enough. Lock this man up, and put extra guards on him. Since apparently our own dungeons won't cut it, we'll send him to the Iron Fortress first thing tomorrow."

* * *

Stoick let them go home, while he headed for Berk, for which Astrid was glad. She knew an interrogation was coming, and didn't feel up to it yet. They were nearing the Edge when Astrid suddenly felt sick to her stomach as a thought struck her head. She would have to act normally around the other riders, who didn't know a thing.

She couldn't do that. Not yet, anyway.

"Hiccup", she said urgently. "Can we not get home yet?"

He understood immediately. "Sure. What do you want to do?"

She sighed. "I don't know."

"How about a race?"

She smiled. He knew her so well. "You're on."

After a long time of chasing after each other, their dragons were finally exhausted and landed on a small island that barely had a few trees. As soon as they got off them, Toothless and Stormfly padded away a short distance and lay down.

"Well, looks like we won't be leaving for a while", Hiccup commented when he saw this.

"No", Astrid agreed. She, too, decided to lie down on the grass, and he followed suit beside her.

They were quiet for a while, watching the sun slowly drift towards the horizon. At one point, he shyly brushed his hand against hers, and she took it.

She thought about the last few days. How supportive he'd been through it all, letting her rant, giving her space when she needed it, not once pushing her. And though there was sympathy in his attitude, it was never pity, which she would've hated. He didn't think she was weak for acting this way.

And if she was being honest, it wasn't just these past days, really. He was always like that, ever since he met her. Even after she'd rejected him for a while. And she had his back, too. Always.

She really, really liked him. Might even love him, although she wasn't sure about that. She needed to do something about it.

She began to muster the courage to speak up... when Toothless and Stormfly decided they'd rested enough and noisily ran to them.

"Well", Hiccup let go of her hand and got up, "I guess it's time to go."

"Yeah", she followed suit, lamenting the loss of her opportunity, "let's go."

She didn't attempt to get on Stormfly, however, but watched him as he checked something on Toothless' tail.

It was an impulse to grab his hand as he walked to the saddle. "Wait", she told him, not sure what she was going to say.

He looked at her, eyebrows raised. "What?"

"I..." How could she say this? "I... wanted to thank you. For everything." Not what she was really trying to get out, but also true.

He smiled warmly, and it did things to her insides. "Don't think about it. You'd do the same."

"Exactly."

He was confused. "Huh?"

She closed her eyes, frustrated with herself... and then realised that this wasn't the best approach.

She wasn't good with words. She was a girl of action.

The question was, did she dare?

She stepped closer, further into his personal space than it was normal, at least for friends. His eyes widened just a bit, but he made no move to push her away. That was a good sign, right?

She would have liked to just dive straight in, but she didn't know what she was doing. Besides, he might not want it, and she wanted to give him the option to reject her.

She raised her hand, and slowly, ever so slowly, brought it to his cheek. His green eyes were now focused on her face, watching her attentively. She saw surprise, but nothing more. Nothing that could tell her what he was feeling.

 _This is it_ , she thought, and began leaning in. Again, she took her time, giving him the chance to back out if he so wished. He didn't, however.

But he didn't lean closer, either.

That made her pause, just as her face was two inches from his. Was this his subtle way of turning her down? Surely he would've moved, too, if he wanted it. Maybe-

Her thoughts were interrupted when he made an undefined noise of frustration. He brought his hand to her chin, and pulling her face forward, closed the distance between them.

Their lips collided, soft and strange and wonderful. She had never done this before, and the feeling was electrifying. Was it because of her inexperience, or because it was him? She didn't know. Either way, she wanted more.

She moved slowly, getting used to the sensation, and he did the same, both adapting to each other. The hand that had been on his cheek moved until her arm was wrapped around his neck, and her other arm mirrored the movement. In response, he gently grasped her hips and pulled her closer, until there was no space between them.

Meanwhile, their mouths continued to explore one another, revelling in this new connection. By accident, her teeth grated against his lip, and he made a noise that was half surprise and half pleasure. She repeated the action, just to hear it again, and in return, he took her lower lip between his own and sucked. The sensation made her weak in the knees.

Eventually, they had to part for air. They stood there, practically glued to each other, breathing hard and smiling.

"I've wanted to do that for a long time", Hiccup admitted sheepishly.

She felt her heart soar at his confession. "Me too."

"So we've been wasting time?"

She laughed. "I guess." She leaned her forehead against his. "I... was kind of afraid of your reaction. If you didn't like me back, then I could've ruined our friendship. And that was the last thing I wanted."

She couldn't stand the thought of pushing him away. Hiccup, who had stayed with her through thick and thin, even forgiving her mistreatment of him. Hiccup, who'd been by her side when she had to confront the most painful thing in her past. Since she'd first met him, he'd found his way into her heart, eventually becoming the most important person in her life, given that she'd lost her father and Birger.

She didn't want to feel alone ever again. If, despite everything, he found it within himself to like her as much as she liked him... then maybe she didn't have to be.

The mere idea filled her with joy.

"I thought the same thing." He grinned. "We're a pair of idiots, aren't we?"

Oh, the irony. They spent so much time together, their minds were alike.

"Maybe. But if that's the case, we match. And hey, we still have a long time to continue doing this."

He smirked. "How does 'right now' sound?"

She chuckled. "Perfect."

And she leaned in, their lips meeting again.

* * *

 **A/N: To some, it may seem illogical that Astrid would just cut Hiccup out like that, but remember she's just a girl who's terrified of losing everything again. She'd rather isolate herself than let that happen.**

 **Anyway, hope you enjoyed it! This is the last thing I've planned for the Burning universe in general. I'm not saying I'll never return to it, but I've been working on it for the past three years, and I'd like a break. As far as HTTYD is concerned... I don't know when I'll be back, either. I do have one idea I might write, but this semester is looking to be a complicated one. Sorry. (I'm not a prolific writer, unfortunately. Inspiration doesn't come easily.)**

 **Thanks for reading!**


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